Showing Respect for Girls

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(This is an excerpt from the book What Girls Need to Know About Guys/What Guys Need to Know About Girls.)

Occasionally we’ll talk to a young woman who says something like this: “I don’t like it when guys open doors for me. Sometimes they’ll even push me out of the way so that they can open it for me!” (We’re not making this up!) While a young man who does this may feel he is doing the right thing, he has forgotten that the most important part of showing respect to a girl is to put her needs first. If a young woman wants to open her own door, respect that.

Another young woman told us an experience similar to the one above. She said that she did not mind having her door opened, but she just didn’t want to be yelled at in order for it to happen.

Apparently some guys are a bit zealous in honoring young women! Although we personally believe young women should accept the respect offered by young men, you may meet a few who simply don’t want it. And that’s okay—don’t force them to take your respect. At the same time, don’t get discouraged and stop trying to honor women.

It’s also important to make sure you show respect in the right way. I was in the BYU bookstore one afternoon. I had recently given a talk telling young men to honor young women and to encourage young women to dress modestly.

A young man walked past me, talking on his cell phone. “Hey, Brother Hilton,” he said. “Maybe you can help me. I’m trying to tell this girl to dress modestly but she won’t listen to me. She’s such a _____.” (He then used a very offensive word that you should never use.)

Although I was happy this young man wanted his friend to dress modestly, he was going about it the wrong way. By aggressively telling her what to do (not to mention the name he called her), he may have been discouraging her from doing the right thing.

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