Breakup Songs Have Terrible Lyrics

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(This is an excerpt from book Don't Throw Rocks at His Window: Real Advice to Mend a Broken Heart.)

Please do not sing along to sappy love songs while crying your eyes out. First of all, crying for long periods of time will give you a headache. If this happens, it’s because you have lost all of the water in your body through your tear ducts. You will need to stop crying and drink at least two full glasses of water, okay?

Second, listening to music that makes you cry is all part of wallowing, which, as we’ve already mentioned, doesn’t help.

Finally, have you ever paid attention to the lyrics of breakup songs? How is the line “I can’t breathe without you” supposed to help you mend your broken heart? It’s not. It’s self-indulgent pity-partying at its worst.

I love music, but music is powerful. It can manipulate your emotions for good or for bad. A really gut-wrenching love song can make you feel more wretched than you already do on your own.

Besides that, chances are good that the people who live with you will hear you, and trust me, nobody with a whole heart actually likes to listen to sappy love songs accompanied by crying all day. And you need the people around you to have as much patience with you as possible because mending a broken heart can be a hard process.

So if you need—really need—to listen to a gut-wrenching song, here is what you can do. Find a place where nobody else can see you—under a bed, in a closet, or behind the food storage. Go inside that little place with your headphones and let yourself feel the heartbreak of a really good love song. You can even let yourself cry a little. And then stop. Stopping is the important part here. A little self-indulgence can be cathartic. A lot of self- indulgence is wallowing, which is not allowed. So do it only a little.

The rule is that after you listen to one gut-wrenching song, you have to listen to an uplifting song. It can be a song that makes you want to dance or go for a run. It can be something religious that helps you feel the Spirit. But the important thing is to end your music session with a song that makes you feel good.

Then crawl out of your hiding place and face the world again with dry eyes. You can be happy without him. You really can. You can have a full, purposeful life without him. Just give yourself some time to heal and then watch your great life begin.

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