Have you ever had a scab that you picked at over and over again? What happens every time you pick it off before the wound is completely healed? You have to wait for a new scab to grow and for the wound underneath it to heal. You set back your healing time every time you do it.
A broken heart can feel as real as a physical wound. In fact, if you think of it as a wound and treat it as a wound, you will be on the right path for healing. Picking at the wound in your heart will only set back your healing time. It needs to be left alone, and it needs time to heal.
In Jane Austen’s story Emma, Mr. Knightley and Emma are talking about Frank Churchill’s secret engagement to Jane Fairfax. Mr. Knightley is under the impression that Emma is in love with Frank. (But she’s not! She’s in love with you, Mr. Knightley! YOU!) So he, in a very sympathetic, but unfortunately cheesy way, says, “Time will heal your wound.”
That line always makes me laugh, but there is truth to it. Time will heal your wound. Time will bring with it a dulling of the ache and a lessening of the sting. The pain of loss and rejection will subside, little by little, if you do not interfere. Every day can bring you a little bit closer to having a mended heart.
But you have to leave it alone! No scab-picking allowed. And as you give your heart time to heal, there are some rules of recovery that will help you on your way.